Manipulated at work


I am a volunteer on a Board for a membership organisation. The President presents information to us to discuss and decide upon. Over the last 2 years I have worked out that the information we are given is often incomplete. We then make decisions and they are actioned and I realise later that the decisions do not align with my values. As a Board representative I have to stick with the decisions we made. We have now fired our CEO which means we now have to find a new CEO. We are being directed towards more decisions which I don’t think have good long term implications. I find myself anxious every day, and wanting to quit. This position has value for me as it may lead to other positions which are paid. I keep coaching myself to speak up but I get confused in the moment, even when I make extensive notes because I am being given information which is contradictory and when I question it, I am told to be quiet.
Thank you.