Manual For Children

Hi! I am working on changing my manual for my 7 year old child. He has ADHD and is impulsive and often will say unkind things to his younger sister (there is more but I am trying to keep this brief). I know I have a lot expectations of how he should behave (my manual) but he is obviously not following this one bit! I find myself often getting frustrated and redirecting his behavior almost constantly as he is often doing something I find absolutely annoying, something dangerous, something that might accidentally destroy property or harm his sister. I know you have stated that “adults get to act however they want” but this is a child and I feel I need to teach him appropriate behavior but I also feel I need to let go of all the ways I think he “should” be acting….but these two points seem contradictory to me. I want to accept him where he’s at while lovingly guide his behavior and I’m not sure how to clean up my thinking in order to do this from a place of love vs a place of frustration. Please help!