Manual for self or family?

I have worked hard over the last year to secure childcare and ask husband for more time to myself in order to start a new career/work. However, over the last month, my husband’s work has been much more loose and he has been home much more. Not in the capacity to care for kids more but more like taking his time about things, longer lunches, and starting work later. I cannot really depend on him to be home at certain times because he doesn’t set a time schedule for himself. In addition to this, my kids have been home more either with colds, snow days, or just days off from school. I have been incredibly irritable and annoyed by all of this and really want to just throw in the towel.

C- Kids and husband home more than usual

T – I just want some fucking space from everyone so I can do my work, take care of myself and clear my head!

F – Irritated

A – push work and self-care to the side, act grumpy all the time, several days of eating off protocol, drinking way more, clean, cook, spend most time with family, escape into tv series while I cook and clean up, try to be present with kids and plan activities to do with them even though I am mentally and emotionally checked out while with them, disconnect emotionally.

R – Give up on self and succumb to just being there for them

I need help seeing what is going on here. Do I work on the manual for myself that I shouldn’t be annoyed and if i had it all together/perfect I would be able to do it all. Or do I work on manual for my family that they should know to give me more time to myself and respect my need for more time to work/care for self. Or, is it not a manual problem at all? Help!?! 🙂