Happy New year awesome coaches!
I am working on the thick manual I have about my mother and I would love your guidance to really work through this in a lot more depth. I am sending you those models to check with you whether those are well built. Many thanks in advance for your feedback.
T: She is wasting her life and damaging mine
A: I blame and judge her and I spin horrible moments in my head. I do not love her unconditionally. I do not listen to her, I argue back, I raise my voice. I tell myself she is such a bad mother and that I cannot trust her
R: I am wasting my time with her and damaging our relationship
T: I cannot trust her
A: I anticipate worst case scenario, I suspect everything she says and does will false intention. I judge her. I am not loving her
R: I reinforce mistrust
T: She is a bad mother
A: Blame her, argue with the past and with her. Do not love her unconditionally. Do not act as an example of what is possible.
R: Give her all the power for how I feel
T: She is not responsible for how I feel, I am
A: Catch myself judging her, talk back to my lizard brain, park the critical thoughts, make room for other thoughts. Do not give in the emotional childhood by reacting, resisting or avoiding. Do not play victims, do not yell , argue, react to what she says or does not say or act of does not act.
R: I take full responsibility for how I feel
T: I do not have to trust her to have a loving relationship with her
A: I do not ask her things that would make me feel uncomfortable, I do not blame her for whatever she does or does not do, I let her be herself, I do not critic, judge, blame
R: I create space for unconditional love
T: She is perfectly imperfect like every human being
F: at peace
A: I let go of the manual, I stop wanting her to be a person she is not, I laugh and make jokes with her, I give her permission to be herself, I do not react, avoid, or resist to what she says, does or does not say or does not do. I listen to what she says, I am present with her.
R: I love her unconditionally.