Manual question 3

So I would consider myself an independent person, I make my own money and manage my emotions well, however I am a bit confused about the manual. I try not to have manuals for people but I know they creep in, however I have had a relationship in the past where the manual from my side was pretty much non-existent, I very much cared for my partner and we got on really well and enjoyed each others company. However, I almost had so little of a manual for him that the connection was for me was nothing in comparison (even though I loved him) to other relationships where we have had small manuals for each other and the connection has been much stronger; and in these relationships I have been sad, mad and angry but also very much in love; the connection has been so strong and I know this went both ways; so even though we both would keep and have our our independence, without that bit of a manual we would have lost some of that connection. Please try and help me understand this as I am really struggling as my closest relationships with family member and friends have some form of manual from both sides and I feel far more connected to these people and vice versa than I do than with people i have absolutely no manual for.