Manual Struggles

While I understand the concept of the manual, I’m really struggling applying the concept toward creating more peace in my relationship.

It seems like my partner is constantly pointing out anything I do wrong or any mistake I make, or any place I apparently don’t live up to his expectations, instead of noticing any of the things that I DO. I don’t think there is any possible way I could actually please him, I think he’ll continue to point out little things, as that’s clearly his filter/setting.

I guess I just have to accept this, but I’m starting to become really reactionary to any time he points out anything along those lines, even when I interpret it has true. I’m having a hard time thinking about this clearly and figuring out some way I can interrupt or change this behavior in myself. I want to have a more peaceful mindset around this, to let it roll off, as I don’t want to create drama and fights around it. I know I can’t change his, so I clearly have to change mine, but I’m really struggling here.

Also struggling with my manual on how he should treat me, and building resentment on all the things I do for him, none of which he does for me. I want to do these things for him regardless as it is what *I* want to do, and I don’t expect him to do the same things but I definitely have a manual that he should do at least some things that he doesn’t. This makes me think I’m with the wrong person, but also recognize the work I need to do, and I don’t want to leave him until I manage my mind in the ways I can around this. I sort of see it as an opportunity to work on myself and manage my mind, but sometimes I get so frustrated and the pain is so big I just want to change my damn circumstance.