March Homework, my thought

Hi Brooke,

I would like to feel/think that I have plenty of time, and want to stop feeling overwhelmed. You suggested that my thought should be, I have as much time as I need. Which leads to a feeling of frustration and anger (I clearly do not yet believe it).

I think I am feeling like I want more time to relax and have fun. I literally run around each day from chore to chore. (which I get I am choosing). The last 2 weeks I have planned in ‘free time’ and guess what, we had a family emergency (my Dads place flooded) and the other week, I had a bill through from HMRC that if wasn’t paid immediately then I would have to pay £10 per day of interest for each day it wasn’t paid. These became my priorities. So how do I believe this new thought of I have plenty of time/ I have as much time as I need, when life seems to be throwing these things my way (these examples are not uncommon)? I know you will say, you choose what you catch, but it would be silly for me not to deal with those things, so I chose to do them, instead of taking care of myself. Is it just owning and talking yourself around about the things you don’t want to do, but have to do, as you are going to do them anyway, right?

Do I need to turn my thoughts around and try and believe a different thought? for example:
I enjoy being busy
I am totally up for this
I was made for this
I can do this
It may be hard, but I can handle hard, it will be so worth it

So kind of telling myself, okay so this is the situation I am in (circumstance). I can either think negative thoughts or positive more serving thoughts. I am going to be busy/do this either way.

Do you think I have a scheduling problem here?
Are you going to say your thought that you are busy is not true, just a thought, and is not serving me. Am I trying to feel positive about something I perceive as ‘negative’, when in fact it is just neutral?

I am trying to figure out why this is not working for me?
I am trying to find evidence to the contrary but my brain is not finding it yet.

When I look deeper into my brain, I am not sure If I hold a belief that unless I am busy I am lazy. I don’t honestly think I know how to take it easy. Do I need to try meditation? Maybe I just want to and choose too much for me to do in a day? I need more B minus work? Maybe my standards are too high? who needs a clean house all the time?

I am really trying so hard to figure this all out. I really want to ‘crack this’ this month and be done with overwhelm.

I know I have asked this before, but is Suzy coming back as a coach? I had started talking to Suzy about my overwhelm and she was so good as a coach. I know they are all good, but she just gave me such good advice.

Thanks Brooke xx