March progress and dissonance


Hi, I’d love to share my March progress with you. The new sentence I want to believe is “I have a loving relationship with my parents”, especially with my mum. Yesterday, she sent an e-mail and I could literally hear two stories running trough my mind.

My old story:
This e-mail is totally trivial. I just don’t know what to reply. She hesitates to speak about important things. She didn’t get my point. She doesn’t admit her mistakes. She only points out what I’ve done wrong. She sees herself as a pawn in the game of life. She avoids to feel or to speak about her feelings. We are so different in every aspect.

My new story:
We communicate with more ease than before. She didn’t get my point and that’s okay. We ultimately want the same thing. We are different in how we approach life and that’s okay. There were no mistakes – everything happened exactly the way it was supposed to be for us to arrive were we stand today. She expresses feelings in her way. I know exactly how to reply: in a loving way.

I feel that my old story is still true for me to some extent, though it certainly is destructive for our relationship. My new story feels already true somewhat, and I love how constructive it is. Such an interesting experience to feel the dissonance!

So my question is: Will my old story/beliefs stay and be a constant reminder that I need to believe hard and think on purpose? Or will my new beliefs/story replace the old one at some point and become automatic?