Marital situation …continues

Thank you for giving me great perspective on “silver lining “ and ugly couch . I totally do that because I want to feel better right away .
I will never change my husband’s behavior. He will never change even though he understands and admits post factually that he behaved rudely and arrogantly but then adds that I make him into this person, etc …

I used to be madly in love with him. He has always been hyper type, but not so rude towards me. This is always a big turn off for me. Seems that it’s especially acute now because we don’t see each other for a week, and I drop my guard and forget about my boundaries. I started to implement them actively and things were better .

Now , the only thought that allows me to feel some love towards him is to think of him as one of my pets – this really allows me to be in an unconditional love feeling. My cat can sit on my face and I’ll just love him always. I know it sounds weird but I’m trying here. I don’t like the feeling of a victim that I feel all the time.