Marriage and Debt

My husband and I both make good incomes and both contribute to our overspending. I have thoughts about our spending habits that put some of the blame on him. There’s a lot of work here for me to do. I need some help figuring out how to stay in my lane and just work on me when our money is combined.

C Credit card bill
T Husband spent way too much, he is reckless in spending
F Hopeless
A Don’t pay attention to the bills, continue to overspend myself, judge husband instead of be curious about his spending and why
R I am reckless in spending, debt increases

When I toy with other thoughts about husband it comes back to me and I can’t figure out a thought I like about money. It’s a little like overeating, although I don’t consider myself a traditional spender.

C Credit card bill arrives
T We have overspent
F Shame
A Blame husband
R we overspend and I don’t have a partner to fix it

The problem when I try to fix the thoughts is that I don’t think I overspend, I just think he does. Can you help me bridge my way to this thought or parse it out to show me a better way to think? We both make good money and have big goals to increase it again this year, I want to work on my thoughts so we end up keeping it. And I admit I can’t change him.

T – our money works for us
F – empowered
A – pay attention to the bills and spending to hit my savings and debt goals
R – I have big savings account and reduce my debt