Massive Action

What massive actions would I need to do to believe “I am a calm and patient mother and wife who speaks in a low tone without raising her voice.”? This is my new sentence that I’ve been writing down every day for my March homework. For the past year I have been committing to neighborhood walks and yoga for my mental health, mindfulness practices, listening to meditation apps, writing in a gratitude journal, listening to yours and others’ self-care podcasts, reading and learning from various authors (ie. Dr. Joe Dispenza, Byron Katie, Dr. Wayne Dyer etc.) about how negative thoughts affect your life and health, applying and completely the SCS assignments since November 2017. I am not buffering with alcohol, food, medication/drugs, social media, shopping, gambling, or any other illegal activities. However, I tend to loose my patience by yelling often at my loved ones whom I live with. I do realize that yelling is a form of buffering I use to avoid and resist my negative emotions instead of feeling them. I’ve done models on this as well. What now?