Hello! For May I chose first a new co worker (I’m a teacher) that I really struggle having nice thoughts about. I wanted to work on a model about what she told me but I seem to get stuck. Here’s what happened: thanks to SCS, I’ve lost a good bunch of weight (35 kg) since last year and she happened to have come across some picture of me at school from last year with my 35 kg on (harmoniously spread all over my huge body ;). ) She said to me, in the staff room (exact words translated from French): “I wanted to tell you I came across a picture from last year, and congratulations! You’ve really changed! That’s impressive! I can really tell you were more sad on that picture than today!” My answer was “Thank you but I was really happy before, as I am now, fattier but as happy!”
So here’s my model:
C: She said “I can tell you that you were more sad”
T: Who the f*** does she think she is to say something like that?!
F: Furious
Here’s my question, do I put my answer in the Action line? “I was fattier but as happy”
I also have trouble linking any result to my initial thought. The thing is that I “minimize” my answer (ie I stayed polite) because to tell you the truth I have difficulties to tell the truth to people (you know the people pleaser stuff…) + I also think you have to keep quiet relationship with the people you have to work with but the thing is that I felt (and still feel) so furious that now she cannot say or do anything without me feeling angry and wanting to gossip about her (tell my colleagues why she doesn’t behave properly, how much I can’t stand her etc…). I don’t want to have this kind of behavior about anyone, not because I think it’s not appropriate but because I don’t want that from myself.
I hope I’m clear enough, because before changing my thoughts, I want to understand my unintentional model enough to notice when I go back to the same pattern of thoughts.
Thanks in advance for your help, thank you for the free weekly coaching in May, your work really is making a difference in my life.
Michèle
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