May and my boss

Hello amazing coaches!
So I have chosen to focus on my boss for this week’s assignment. I already know that my own thoughts about her are a projection of some of my thoughts about myself. However, I have trouble sometimes keeping the circumstance of her existence neutral. Today, for example I realized that the reasons she does what she does and works like a “chicken with her head cut off” is so she can make ends meet in our business. I have heard more than once from her that she can’t afford certain things and I don’t think it’s really any of my business as her employee to know what she can and can’t afford. It is very unprofessional and in turn I feel uncomfortable. My thoughts about this is that I am not busy enough, I should be bringing in more money as a commission stylist and selling more retail and so on and so on. I am really working on my mindset around this and know exactly why I am thinking these thoughts; however, this is not where my issue at the moment lies. What I am needing some clarity around is one of my thoughts of she is extremely disorganized. I am also disorganized which is something I don’t like about myself and need to work on. There are many areas of disorganization that I see in our small company and it is perhaps one of the reasons that I am the ” oldest” member of the team. I have only been around for 1 year and she has been running this company for nearly 7 years. I know that stylists don’t leave places, they leave owners. The reason I am still there is because I believe I have the thought that I’m not good enough to run my own business, I don’t have a full clientele and no one will follow me. I have no idea how to run a business , and so forth. It’s like I just want to take the leap and go out on my own but I feel this mindset is coming from a feeling of scarcity, not abundance. I do want to run my own business someday because somewhere deep down in the depths of my soul, I know that I could be a great leader especially with the tools from SCS. Anyways what my main question here is right now is that I booked my holidays a month ago and they were approved so I made arrangements already. She came to me and asked if I could change them because it’s the week back to school and it’s busy week in the shop that week and she will also be on holidays because she is a single mom. I said no because I already have things booked and planned and of course my partner has the time booked off as well. All I was thinking was that she is disorganized but I also feel badly for saying no because she looked annoyed when I said no. Ugh, advice please!