Meeting the man of my dreams


I’ve heard Brooke give an example of a goal as “I’d like to meet the man of my dreams.” That also happens to be my goal that I’m working on in Scholars.
Over the months I’ve learned a lot as I apply what I’ve learned through Scholars, and I think the pressure is still too great– “to meet the man of my dreams” feels loaded to me. It is an “impossible goal” but it is also too unclear for me. Sometimes I see photos of men on online dating apps and I have the thought, “I wonder if he is ‘the man of my dreams?'” Or “I wonder if I could build a life with him?” But it seems to be too much of a jump, or just too overwhelming an expectation for a first impression. It leaves me feeling cynical and then I stop believing my intentional model (that I can do this and in fact meet a partner).

Would it be more useful if I narrow my focus to further specify what I’m looking for? For example, “i’m looking for a man who I have a connection with, and someone who also wants to live by the ocean, challenges me intellectually, and is open to travelling.” Or is that a list of criteria that is too pre-determined, it becomes an external expectation and I stop being “open” enough to possibility?