I decided to follow the advice that you gave me in January and made not buffering my main goal(I had like four goals and I didnt know which one to pick) It wasnt perfect but I stopped relying on food, alcohol, drugs, overdoing, estimulants etc.. each time I felt anxious. I also went to retreats, to Byron Katie’s school, did Ayahuasca, energy work, rebirthing,.wrote every day, kundalini, reading, you name it… and thought I was really growing and getting somewhere but after a week in Madrid at a retreat away from my responsabilities in LA I have come back and I am in a complete meltdown. I am anxious, angry,sad all the time with such intensity that my only goal is surviving the day. I know it sounds dramatic but for the last three weeks it has been like that. I wake up crying or very anxious. I am going back to conforting myself with my old numbing escapes and I’m really worried. I feel completely lost and I dont know what is going on.I feel that nothing that I have done has been worth it and I have gone backwards even to square one. I think the only solution is separating from my husband and moving to India or something radical like that. Life doesnt make sense at all.
Do you have some advice or a new starting point or do you know what can be going on?