Hi Coaches. I’m in a tricky situation in the last 2 weeks.
Background. I’m going through the menopause, have been on HRT for a while, doing fairly well on them. Because of an admin error at my doctors surgery – I won’t go into detail about what happened -, they didn’t prescribe my oestrogen patches and I’ve been off them suddenly for the last 10 days, waiting for doctor to reopen this Tuesday to hopefully re-prescribe and send to pharmacy (which then may take a few more days to be ready for collection).
The result is that I’ve gone from being fairly stable with my symptoms, to suddenly having no oestrogen in my body & for the last 10 days dealing with daily headaches – morning to night, not really shifting fully with painkillers – night sweats, sudden extreme mood swings (tearfulness, fury) and exhaustion. I have researched online that it’s not wise to suddenly withdraw HRT in this way & I’m having a lot of thoughts & feelings about this mistake the doctor has made and anything I may have done in terms of my organisation to contribute.
I also have a lot of thoughts & feelings about my husband’s seeming inability to support me these days. I’ve asked him to show tolerance & patience, but my sense is he needs me to be the ‘strong’ one in the family, the one taking the lead, and he simply hates that I’m so emotional & unwell these 10 days.
I realise this situation just has to be endured until it is sorted. I’m also beating myself up – as in ‘I shouldn’t be suffering so much’, ‘others have it worse’… but also panicky thoughts like ‘tomorrow I have to go back to work after easter weekend, my job is full on, how on earth will I manage’ etc
A lot has come up, also, in me in terms of helplessness. Feeling reliant on a medicine (making me feel weak). Feeling reliant on my doctor. Feeling reliant on my husband – yet being let down by him, as I experience it.
Here is a model this morning. I would appreciate some ideas on ways to take this forward. This whole experience has been very upsetting, showing me how quickly & easly things can go wrong if the body doesn’t work.
C: hormone fluctuations, menopause symptoms after withdrawal of oestrogen
T: I am let down, not looked after (by doctor, by husband)
I have to look after myself and my family otherwise no one will do it
F: helpless, upset, fury but also exhausted, despairing
A: experience of symptoms worsens
I shout to husband and explain to him why I need support – only for him to shut down further as he hates shouting
stay in bed scrolling on internet
may overeat [buffer]
become very impatient and wait for days to pass to go back on medication, clock watching
don’t enjoy my days
don’t take walks
Son may get upset by angry arguments, he notices my shouting
I notice son may be upset, feel guilty
Don’t communicate with husband in a way that can work, that he can hear, talk talk talk to him
R: I let myself down, I don’t look after myself