Messy and feeling inadequate


The house smells from my 2 cats peeing somewhere and I can’t find the source of the smell. My room is a mess and clothes need to be put away. I start every day feeling behind because I’m staying up too late. My food choices are quickly grabbing what I can and often it’s processed crap. I used to feed the outdoor cats (not mine, but come with the house I’m renting) twice a day and clean their bowls each time and now I just feed them once a day and clean their bowls every few days. Sometimes I forget if I’ve given my diabetic cat insulin or not. Sometimes I barely brush my teeth before my first client session. My skincare routine is sliding and I had been doing red light therapy most days and haven’t done that in weeks. I’ve also been missing my infrared sauna sessions that help my autoimmune arthritis this past week.

I feel not good enough. This all feels unacceptable. I feel like a disappointment to myself. And I feel guilty I’m not taking better care of the cats. I also know this isn’t the behavior of the woman I want to be. I’m wondering how things started to slide—what changed about my thoughts? How can I start to feel proud of myself and on top of things again but without it feeling like a burden and I spend half my day doing routines?

Is it really as simple as picking different thoughts and practicing them? If so, how long does that take?