thanks for the useful pointers with regard to my question – and in particular for catching the language I used in terms of depression. I am so sensitive to language and love that you pointed out that I used a term that indicates that something is happening to me rather than something I am doing. With regard to the thought that I have that creates energy and effectiveness, it is that “time is scarce” which seems to create the emotion of anxiety and even fear, which then in turn creates an adrenaline-kick. So another model on the work circumstance could be:
T: time is running out – the shit is about to hit the fan!
A: highly effective work using adrenaline as fuel
R: work gets done at the last minute, time is running i.e. I am running late (usually I am quite good though with balancing on the right side of the edge – using enormous amounts of adrenaline)
Does this unconscious model make sense? My question then is: how do I wean myself off the adrenaline-kick i.e. the thought that I need the adrenaline kick? Which brings me to an issue that surfaced as my key issue in this month’s homework: the issue of abundance vs. scarcity. I want to live in abundance, but I seem to thrive in scarcity. Especially with regard to time but also with regard to money. I basically seem to thrive when I create artificial scarcity and boundaries and limit my options clearly.I seem to have so much more time, when I don’t have time. I seem to have so much more money when I strictly limit my budget. Is what I call scarcity what you would call minimalism? I think I am on the right track here in getting closer towards thoughts that have not served me well for several decades. Can you give me some feedback on the above please? Where do I take this from here? Thanks so much! Valerie