You might have just saved my marriage.

So, I am REALLY good at buffering. I do it with alcohol and with men. I am married (21 years) and we have four boys. Life is hard (a thought) and I use wine and men to escape. I am not a whore – these are men from college (25 years ago) who I trust. Ex boyfriends. It is all talk and no action (well… except for twice, with this one guy…) I deserve it! I am not getting any younger ~ right? Someone please make me feel GOOD when my family just sucks the life out of me! So… then I got caught. Five years ago. We decided to stay together. I convinced him that it was a midlife crises – it was, kind of. We decided after YEARS of fighting, to stay together but he still thinks we are broken, that the foundation of our marriage is ruined. I still buffer by talking to men and by drinking lots of wine.
So today we worked the model. Together.
C – Marriage
T- Staying together for the kids, we are broken
E – sad, disappointed
A – not nice to each other – just getting by
R – co-parents but not happy

C – Marriage
T – I love him and he loves me
E – hopeful, compassion, interest
A – respect each other, take care of each other, be honest
R – solid, stable, happy marriage
Then he left for work. He sent me this text a few hours later — “I’m feeling good about us today!”
Wow! What a difference a thought can make.
When I look back and read these words, they seem small and really, they don’t do our situation justice. This is huge for us! We do not have to think the worst! We are not destined for ruin. We are not broken. Ou family of 6 is intact! We are committed. We love each other. We have hope.
Thank you!
I commit to stay with you until I reach Diamond. That doesn’t mean much to most people but it is HUGE to me.