MIL & BOUNDARIES


I just realized that I am choosing to think of my MIL as unreliable and not very helpful in my life.
I realized that I can choose to focus on her help through out the time I’ve known her and that I can choose to focus on how she is a person who is just trying to get by like most people in the world.
Although this epiphany is empowering, and I know it would only serve me to alter my thoughts about her, I also feel as if I don’t want to let go of the negativity. I am brainstorming on why I would engage in this negative thinking and not embrace the emotional maturity that comes with choosing thoughts that serve us.
I want to change my thought from- My mother in law is unreliable and thus not helpful in my life to my mother in law cares and tries.
This way I am acknowledging another human being’s presence and am grateful for their efforts.
Gratitude is awesome.
When I engage in the negative whirlwind that immediately hits me in thinking of her, I feel horrible. I resent the past and fight with it (we live in a mother daughter type of house). And I live in regret.
I loved that in your negativity podcast, you state that you don’t care for the proof of how horrible someone else is- that all you care about is how your client reacts. I want to be the client that comes from a place of love and gratitude.
How do I make myself believe in my new thought model?

C: MIL agreed to make breakfast for kids mon and wed. no breakfast on mon and wed.
T: She is so unreliable.
F: frustrated
A: yell at husband; hurried with kids as I am now late for work
R: mil still not making bkfast and I am upset with her and my husband

C: no bkfast for kids mon and wed.
T: It’ll take me 5 minutes to whip up a breakfast smoothie and get the kids out of the door.
I got this. My MIL forgot. I am glad she offered and cares. I am glad I am able to manage even when she forgets.
A: get kids ready and out the door although late for work nevertheless.
R: feeling like I can tackle the day!