Mind chatter while shopping

I have a lot of mind chatter while clothes shopping right now. Like- so much that I actually get headaches while looking at clothes. I’m not thrilled about my size at the moment, so buying clothes is NOT at the top of my priorities.

Here is an example of my most recent shopping experiences:
When I look at clothes, it’s a constant mind chatter of, “eh….this would be tight as hell now, but it would FOR SURE look great on me once I lose the first 30 pounds!”
…😐 Then I stand there, realize that I’m being unrealistic, put it back on the rack and walk away annoyed with myself. It’s as though I’m refusing to own up and accept myself just as I am in the present moment. I don’t want to celebrate or buy anything until I’m down at least 30 lbs. (I have about 100 to go).

Here is a model of my most dominant thought of all my mind chatter:

C: shopping in the plus size section
T: this is not the real me so therefore I don’t want to spend my money on those clothes.
F: justified
A: makes a B-line to the shoes and jewelry.
R: doesn’t have any new spring clothes to wear, wears the same articles of clothing to work, not too thrilled about how I show up, and lives in a delusional world of thinking I’m a size 14 when I’m truly a 20.


Due to my endless mind torture, I’ve been focusing mainly on shoes and jewelry. 👜👠💍
Jewelry or shoes won’t really change sizes that much or at all.

So is it okay if I just focus on shoes and jewelry for a while?

Do you think this is a healthy way to practice self care? Or am I missing the point and not getting this like I should.

Thank you so much!!