Miscarriage and trying to conceive (TTC) again


We had a miscarriage – our first baby. We learned of the miscarriage Jan 3rd finally ended it with a d&c surgery Feb 13th. I am still heartbroken and afraid I will never get pregnant and successfully have a child. Today I thought perhaps.. but the tests are negative and aunt flow is surely to arrive today or tomorrow.

I just feel so beaten down by the whole experience. Also, my sister told me they’re going to start trying soon and my best friend is pregnant right now (we were supposed to have babies together).

I just feel so overwhelmed by it all. So heartbroken. So lost and defeated. I feel sorry for myself.

I’ve tried all sorts of models to change the thoughts but it’s not happening.. I guess too far for me to jump to an intentional model. What do I do in the interim?

Model:
C – No baby.
T – Of course we’ll have a baby eventually
F – Impatient
A – Panic
R – Stress

C – Negative pregnancy test
T – “This process is going to be long and painful (emotionally)”
F – Dread
A – Cry
R – More pain, no excitement about it

C – Negative pregnancy test
T – Maybe my body just needs a break this month
F – Hatred towards my body <— this is where I am stuck.. even with “positive” outlooks, I don’t truly believe them.
A – Cry
R – Wallowing

Thank you so much for your help.

Also, I am not sure how I find answers to these? I submitted a couple before but can’t find them. I guess I’ll write the title down and set a reminder but if there’s a better way to do it, please let us know! Thanks so much.