I missed my coaching call this morning because of a mess up with daylight savings time. I have been waiting 2 weeks for this call and I can’t believe I missed it. I need to talk to someone about my anxiety. I don’t usually have anxiety but this coronavirus thing combined with other things that have been happening recently is really messing with my thoughts. I find myself feeling whatever the person I last talked to feels. Or the last thing I read about it. My thoughts and feelings reflect their thoughts and feelings. Some people are totally unconcerned and others are completely freaking out. So my emotions go back and forth quite a lot and I’m unsettled. I wanted coaching on this. I have now spent the entire day going in circles and being upset about missing this call. I have done so many models that just go nowhere except to tell me I depend on others to know how to feel which I already knew. I wanted to talk to someone who would help me look at how my brain is working instead of getting into a conversation about the coronavirus which is not the actual issue here at all. Now I have to wait another week. I hate that this happened and it feels so unfair. Which is stupid because life is not fair and if this is my biggest problem well then I am very lucky indeed. I have written this a dozen times now in different ways and I end up deleting it all because it sounds stupid. But then I am still upset and I still want help so I write it again. I am spinning in circles with anxious thoughts and being upset with myself about missing the call and crying which also feels really stupid and I don’t know why I am completely overreacting to this.
This is my model I wanted to talk about in my coaching call today:
C = people have different opinions about the coronavirus
T = I don’t know how to feel
F = fear
A = look to others to decide how to feel about the coronavirus and get overwhelmed and confused about what to do and how to feel because of all the different opinions / vacillate between calm and panic depending on the moment / spend time either obsessively looking things up or buffering with distractions
R = I don’t know how to feel
This is my model about missing the coaching call
C = missed coaching call scheduled for today
T = I really needed to talk to someone today about my anxiety
F = disappointment
A = cry, feel upset, do models, feel more anxiety about having to wait until next week when I have time/privacy for a call
R = I am still anxious with no ideas or resolution
Can you please give me some feedback on this in the meantime while I wait for a coaching call next week? Thank you.