Missing my cat

I broke up with my boyfriend almost two weeks ago. I had adopted a kitten about a year prior. I loved her a lot and I made it very known she was my cat and only my cat and if I ever left, I would take her with me.

One month before I moved out, my ex decided to adopt his own kitten because he knew I was going to leave and take my cat with me. The cats became good friends and I ended up getting very attached to the new kitten.

The last hour of me in our shared apartment was a very dramatic one. It had lots of unexpected fighting with yelling and screaming and threats. At the very last moment of my departure from the apartment, I ended up taking the new kitten and leaving my cat behind. My ex wasn’t going to let me take both cats like I had requested. In the moment, it felt like a rushed decision..but I liked my reasons for leaving her with him and taking the new kitten with me. My old cat likes my ex more than me and she gets scared and anxious very easily and I thought a move would be easier on the new kitten instead of my one year old scaredy cat.

Two weeks have gone by and I can’t stop thinking about her. I miss her a lot! I am mad at my ex for not letting me take both. I absolutely adore my new little kitten, and I think if I had to…I would make the same choice again. But I still miss her! I cry when I look at pics of her. I obsess over if he is taking proper care of her and if she’s ok. I think of ways I can go get her even though it would be a little difficult since I moved about 16 hours away from where she is.

I can’t seem to let it go. I keep thinking she is still my cat and that this is just a little break. I really really really want her back. I’m spinning out!