Missing someone

Hi there, I have had a thought that my life would be better if someone (who in reality isn’t good for me) creates a feeling of missing this person. I have trouble believing that my life is better without this person b/c I had so much fun with her. I get a bit tangled up with this one……Intellectually I believe this, but when I think it I don’t feel it to be true in my body/with my emotions. Would appreciate some direction about what to do with missing someone…..

Thank you.

We just allow ourselves to miss them.

That is the answer.

It is the kindest thing you can do for  yourself.

Arguing with the reality of your current situation and then trying to resist it will never feel good.

You have some cognitive dissonance and it isn’t a problem.

Sometimes you have thoughts about missing this person and thinking about the fun that you had together.

Other times, you believe that this very same person that you miss and had fun with, wasn’t good for you.

There is space for all of it.

When you just allow for it all to be there, without trying to resist the emotion of longing, or sadness, or grief, or mourning, then we gain power over it.