I’ve a question and my daily download & model for review
I see so much emphasis on understanding how our thoughts create our feelings which I get. It’s probably the number one thing that people miss and I see it all the time in the live coaching calls. I get it intellectually but I’m wondering if I get it emotionally. Not because I still get tripped up by it but at times I’m still choosing (unintentionally) to be hurt by the circumstances.
I’m wondering because my brain ruminates on the negativity so much, takes an offensive posture and thinks of all the things I can say or do to get back at someone if that’s a sign that I’m not fully getting it. Thoughts?
Here’s today’s download, model and questions
A friend of mine sent me a text and my brain chose to be hurt by it. I recognize it’s not the message that is causing my emotions but my thoughts about it. I consider thinking new thoughts to feel better but recognize that I’m avoiding my feelings by doing that.
I think about Brookes podcast on listening hard where she asks what is the persons intention, and I know this person does not intend to hurt me.
If I may quote one your best coaches Heidi Dunkley who told me “when our brains are like what if I just think something else we’ll feel better, and when we’re in kind of a rush to get there… when we’d rather be there then where we are… it’s a REALLY GOOD CLUE to be like Hold on”
I get that and I’m not trying to rush out of it. I get curious and ask “why do those words hurt me?” and after 15 I don’t know’s my brain answered with they just hurt my feelings.
If I’m understanding this correctly, it appears my subconscious mind doesn’t get what my intellectual mind does. I have this conversation with myself and throughout the next few hours my mind keeps coming up with things to reply or things to do, none of which are very nice and it feels like a battle between that negative / hurt subconscious and my intellect self.
I’m trying to let it all go..
C: Friend sent message
T : That’s not very nice
F : Hurt
A: Ruminate, think of several unkind responses, think of pushing them out of my life
Consider jumping to new thoughts,
R: Not being my best self, not showing up as my best self, stress,