Feeling frustrated because …..
I volunteered to cover ex Gf’s shift in the warehouse and now I feel stupid because …. well I want to say because I’m still trying to please her and get her to love me even though we are not together, but I know its my thoughts about the matter. My thoughts about covering her and another person shifts in the warehouse has me feeling like an idiot. In my group at work, other than a few others, I’m the only one who’s jumping in and working here.
I buffer with tv, shopping or any other distraction.
C: Volunteered to cover ex gf’s shift
T : I’m still trying to get her to love me
F : Angry
A : Buffer, think about telling her I’m not covering anymore shifts
R: Buffering leads to not feeling my feelings, thinking about telling her I’m not covering shifts has me worried
I think the R ties back to the T in a way that I’m trying to get her to love me so I buffer to get some feeling of happiness. Thinking about telling her I’m not covering threatens that “love” so it causes worry.
How does that look? I had trouble getting the R to tie to the T.
I do know I can’t control her
I do know I can’t make her love me
I do recognize my attempts to do so & people pleasing. Those things are pretty foreign to me when I’m talking to her, I get totally sucked into her pool about corona worries etc.