Model About Loan From Parents

We have a loan with my parents. My parents said we could pay it back at our own pace and no rush.

My Mom is mad that we didn’t meet her expectations for paying it back. I agree with her that we haven’t done our best to pay it back and took it for granted that we could do it at our own pace.

And because she has yelled at me and Criticized me about how we spend our money, I feel very defensive when talking to her about our life, what we do and how much we can “afford” to pay them monthly.

I won’t post on social media anymore because I don’t want to give her any more reasons to judge and criticize me.

I am angry. I regret taking the loan. I resent her for how she’s treated me, what she’s said and her continued judgments.

A portion of the loan has been paid back and I’m doing a monthly auto-payment.

I want to feel empowered to pay this off, not resentful every time I send a check.

I keep thinking that none of this is good enough for her. Not the frequency of payments or the amount of payments.

I’ve done a lot of models on these thoughts and I’m still spinning. What am I missing?