Hey Brooke, I wanted to follow up about you had posted to me below:
Your R is that you aren’t thanking you – because in your unintentional model, you weren’t owning that you chose to pay for it – that you wanted to – because you were blaming your sister for you paying for it (she’ll throw a fit if I ask her to pay for it). But you still wanted to, even if your reason was wanting to try to control her feelings.

If you owned this, you could choose to be satisfied with your choice and feel good about it, rather than continuing to blame your sister for your decision. Satisfied always feels so much better than resentful.

Is this what the models would look like?
C: Sister texted “K”
T: She should have at least thanked me for paying for my niece’s hair.
F: entitled resentful
A: Not own I chose to pay for it, try to control sisters feelings, complain
R: Not thank myself

C: Sister texted K
T: It’s great to pay for my niece’s hair so she can have fun getting dolled up with us girls too.
F: Satisfied
A: Allow my sister to be who she is
R: Thank myself for paying for my niece’s hair

Does something like that work in my intentional model? Do you have any thoughts you use as well? I notice I do this a lot with people in my life, so does that mean I need to thank myself more or honor what I did?

Thanks Brooke! I’m really getting a better understanding of myself through all of this work!