Model help…

I feel like I might need some help with my models. I tend to get the same thoughts with every situation when I do a second model and think of how I could better change my thinking.

I have noticed that I tend to have a manual for others and I get super annoyed when they don’t act accordingly. I see myself doing this and then write models to better understand my thoughts, but most of the time I get the same “new thought”, that they’re doing their best or this is their issue to work on. How can i change this? I still feel like I see these same behaviors when I’m around them and I know that my brain is just proving this to me. How do I see something different? It happens all the time with digs from my father in law, orders from my mother in law, being ostracized by my father, being excluded from get togethers a or play dates with friends. I know these things will keep happening but how do I start to seem them differently?

For example…
C: My father did not wish me happy birthday
T: Those are his issues or he is doing to best he can.
F: indifferent/disappointed
A: be my happy self
R: I focus on the good