Model Help

Hi Coaches,
I’m not sure if my result is relating back to my thought.
C: 5 yr old Son, yells at me, physically in my space. Following parenting approach given by therapist where we “energize the positive”
T: He doesn’t deserve positive attention.
F: Disgust, anger
A: Don’t act in a loving way, withhold positive comments, withdraw from relationship. Criticize myself for not feeling love.
R: I don’t get to fell any positive emotion towards myself or my son.

I recognize that I am delegating my emotional life to him by letting his actions drive my thoughts/feelings and that I have a manual for how I think he should act. I really want to continue to feel love even when he is acting in a way that I don’t feel is appropriate but I don’t see his behavior as neutral at all. The thoughts I have about him when he is behaving how I would like just don’t seem available in the heat of the moment. I’m fighting against who he is and what he’s doing which is causing unnecessary pain. I’m feeling stuck how I can move towards a sense of calm and love (which is who I wan to be and how I want to show up).