model help about my family


UM:

C: My brother and sister are adults
T: They make dumb decisions
F: Irritated and frustrated
A: act irritated and frustrated, dont’ act lovingly
R: don’t act with love and and upset with myself about not having the relationship and respect I want to have for them.

C: My sister and brother are adults
T: I should be happy if they are happy.
F: happy for them
A: Enjoy their company and family time
R: productive , fun , family time

I just cannot get from UM to IM. They are making dumb mistakes. I feel like I should guide them, but then it is me interfering etc etc etc. HELP!