OK I have 2 Models here for you…
C: husband said words “I want my wife back”
T: he doesn’t like the version of me he’s created in his mind right now
F: hurt
A: pull away, not talk or text, wonder if he’s right
R: I don’t like this version of me??? I’m wresting with this one… I think I am OK with this version of me, I feel accepting of where I am on some level, but I am NOT ok with him not liking this version of me. I want him to accept all “versions” of me and yes, I see where I’m not accepting this version of him when he thinks this… hence the desire to pull away…

C: The above Model
T: I’m choosing to be in pain about this right now
F: conflicted
A: stay disconnected, self coach, get coached
R: I’m choosing to be in pain right now ??? OK, I see that I am… I think here I’m just wresting with the UM of this… why am I choosing this? Because I want to be in pain about it. Why? Because I don’t like his version of me either. I think maybe the ROOT of this pain is me thinking I need to change, that there is something wrong with me which I also am aware that those are BS thoughts… I know there is nothing wrong with me… I guess what I am struggling with is if I know these “stories” are choices, why am I choosing to tell this story? I still have not found THE answer here…