THANK YOU! Your response was truly eye-opening. I thought I had removed all “emotions/thoughts” from my question, only leaving the facts. Now I see how many thoughts I really did leave in there. I find that I have a inaccurate story of him since birth. I very much want to re-write this. I’ve said things regularly like “he was not an easy baby” and “he’s never been easy like other kids” and had x,y,z to back it up. That story is exhausting. The guilt and negativity do not serve me. Do you recommend that I go back and re-write that story? Do thought work around 0-2 years old or just work on where we are now?

Also, here are some new models based on current situations, as you suggested:

C son screams, kicks, runs away when I am trying to get his shoes and socks on in the morning to go to school
T this is impossible and will never end
F annoyed, frustrated, powerless
A drags out routine, not firm
R late for school
– new model –
C son screams, kicks, runs away when I am trying to get his shoes and socks on in the morning to go to school
T I can handle this
F confidence
A get it done even if he is upset
R get to school on time

C son gets upset, screams, kicks during playtime together in afternoon
T other children aren’t this way and don’t get upset this much
F guilt, jealousy
A ?
R difficult rest of the day together
-new model-
C son gets upset, screams, kicks during playtime together in afternoon
T this will pass
F calm
A stay present, listen to his feelings
R we get through it