Hi, could you please provide some feedback? I’m practicing model work and challenging myself to dig deep with my models.
First, I used this list of questions from Brooke’s The Model Practice PDF:
Starting with a Feeling
F: Put the one feeling
T: What am I thinking that is causing me to feel this way?
C: What are the facts about this situation?
A: How do I act when I’m feeling this emotion because I’m thinking this thought?
R: What is the ultimate result of how I act when I feel this way?
Then I created a model, starting with the feeling of Lifeless:
C: Some matters this week that were very challenging (daughter’s break-up, work adversity, sick pet that may need to be put down)
T: I give up
A: don’t do my focus time
don’t work on my projects
fritter away time by checking email all day long instead of during calendared times
wait for the next thing to hit me
online shopping, while telling myself it’s important to do it
look for library books on topics of productivity and self-development
read SCS Ask a Coach
R: The ultimate result is that I’ve given up my power to use my time the way I want to
Then I thought that the actual C is “Repeated days of feeling helpless”:
C: Repeated days of feeling helpless
T: I give up
A: don’t follow through on my calendar plans
fritter away time
R: I have totally given up my power and given up
Next, I wondered what I was thinking that made me feel helpless, so I wrote out this model:
C: Daughter’s break-up
T: I’m powerless to fix this
A: can’t fall asleep, wake up in night
do some gardening when I had planned to work
drink and eat more than I had planned
R: Even with the things that I can control (ie: myself), I become powerless
With my one-on-one coaching, I’m working on a few control beliefs like “I can and must fix things in my life and in the life of my loved ones” and “Life is 50-50 but if I work hard, I can make it 80-20”. Today’s model work seems to point back to these two control beliefs.
Is the next step to interrupt the model with something like:
T: You’re doing the best you can
T: You can’t fix this, but you can support him/her
T: Come what may, you will make the right decision
Thanks for your feedback!