Trying to pull a clean model out of this:
C – Told co-workers I would complete a task and didn’t have time so now they have to do it
T – I’m unreliable. They will think I don’t do enough. They will be mad. They don’t understand what a busy day I had.
F – guilt or shame? Also defensive
A – Ruminate about what a bad co-worker they must think I am. Make a list in my mind of all the reasons why I didn’t get it done – prepare my defense in case I need one.
R – I’m mad at me?
This is a weekly occurrence in my mind. I never think I’m doing enough, even though I work my ass off and I’m the last person you’d call a slacker. There’s just always more to do than I can manage. That’s why we have more staff. Wish I could just drop these thoughts. I see how unnecessary and untrue they are. I’m also very judgy when I don’t think others are doing enough. I often have unrealistic expectations of myself and others.