Please let me know if I got this down correctly. I did a thought download and my topic was not knowing what I want to do with my current relationship… stay or leave?

C- I have been in a 5 year on and off relationship with my boyfriend

T- I don’t want to get married to him

F- Shame

A- I hold back on the amount of affection I show because I know that I won’t be with him forever. I play down my potential in our relationship. I don’t express myself to the fullest. I constantly think about where we are in our relationship. I try to schedule date night and opportunities for him to show his improvements. I don’t post us on social media which makes me not feel like I am being my most authentic self. I think about what would happen if we did break up and how I will need a good reason as to why so that I don’t go back to him.

R- We ended up having a conversation this AM because I couldn’t hold in this thought/feeling anymore.