Model Help Re The Need to be Without Flaws/Vulnerability


Hi – I recently discovered I have a foundational belief within myself that “I should be without flaws.” When I asked myself why I got the following:
1) No flaws means I have no vulnerabilities that others can misuse, judge, see, poke fun at, or use to hurt me.
2) Someone else is unable to provide negative thoughts about me (circumstances) that I might end up agreeing with unconsciously that would cause me to feel deeply flawed/like something is wrong with me.

I want to understand this thought pattern more by putting it in a couple of models, but need some help.

C – (unsure what the circumstance is)
T – If I’m not vulnerable then others can’t hurt me.
F – (is the need to be protective of myself a feeling or a thought?)
A – I am always a little guarded/have a bit of a wall up, I don’t trust others, try to act like everything is ok all the time
R – Connection with friends and family suffers or isn’t as strong as it could be?

AND

C – (unsure what the circumstance is)
T – There is something wrong with me.
F – I feel flawed (is this a feeling or another thought?)
A – I shut down, have other thoughts around something being wrong with me
R – (unsure what the result is… maybe not showing up as my best self? )

What other questions can I ask myself to dig in a little more to this? Thank you in advance.