model help – well really getting to the model, help

hi brooke!
I’m struggling so much with feelings of insecurity and doubt. I do a model and I see the benefit of awareness, but the negative thoughts are so many, and so automatic especially at work, it can’t catch them! I make everything mean I’m a failure. Literally every interaction, every small thing that happens, its exhausting and i feel like I am a burden to be around. Even something I choose and its a good thing, like having a coworker take over one of our projects as it is getting wrapped up so I can focus on more pressing and important projects (which was completely my choice) as soon as it happens I say to myself and practically aloud, “Its because I’m a failure and not meant to do this job”. I don’t know how get out of the loop.

C-I leave one project to focus on another
T-Its because I wasn’t meant to be an architect, who do I think I am
A-Hiding, not working well, not creative, spiteful toward others
R-New projects get stuck because I start them thinking I’m an impostor and bound to fail before I begin because that’s just “who I am”

As you can see I’m pretty critical of myself. Can you help me get anywhere with this?!
Thanks and looking very forward to next month,