Model help with automatic reactions to photos and the past – lh


In my 20’s I followed my passion and moved to NY to do the work I most wanted to. There was great possibility, but I didn’t know how to support myself emotionally or how to work with my thoughts to get the results I wanted. It took me years to come to terms with not having accomplished what I’d dreamed of. I recently came across photos of me from the time. My thoughts, “God, I was so beautiful. I missed it. I missed my opportunity.” I looked hard at the photos looking for the possibility that might have been if my thoughts hadn’t been such a mess, if I hadn’t still been swimming in the childhood pain, blah blah blah and so on. The feeling was all regret – huge, deep regret that I hadn’t had the tools to support the determination to try to make it happen. I remembered the people who wanted me to succeed and tried to give me a chance but I was too … and so on and so forth.

So this is great fodder to model! I’d love to let the vestiges of regret go, or to have thoughts that let it float through me without resistance. I have a life with opportunities. I’d like here, fully accepting of my experiences in my 20’s.

I’m developing my skill set with replacement thoughts – sometimes I can find them and sometimes it’s a struggle. Suggestions?

UM
C: See photos of me in 20’s in NY
T: I missed my opportunities. I was such a mess. (2 thoughts, I know)
F: Regret
A: Push feelings away. Block and protect myself. Do busy things. Distracted. Sometimes eat a little chocolate or ice cream and then regret that. Sometimes an urge to destroy or throw out the photos because they bring up sadness.
R: Feel badly about myself. Spend some time on low or no priority items. Some things I care about don’t get done.

IT – (My brain starts to shut down on this model. )
C: See photos of me in 20’s in NY
T: (Taken from your answer to another post. I know it’s multiple thoughts. I want a thought that takes me to acceptance) I can allow my feelings about my life in NY. I can breathe through and allow them to be with me as long as I need. They cannot hurt me and don’t even need to slow me down.
F: Not sure what I want to feel. Bigger than acceptance. I want to feel ok with what’s happened in my life.
A: Move on with my day. Let it all be enough.
R: Able to accept all parts of my past and life, find what was useful or meaningful in those areas, incorporate them now or love myself gently, keep thriving and creating the life I want right now, today, with my current circumstances.