Hello coaches. I am looking for some input on my model. I am committed to really learning how to use the model to it’s full potential and would appreciate your input. As I do models on my SIL it has become clear that a lot of this is about my own personal discomfort that “someone like this is in my family”. I feel shame and sadness surrounding this reality as well as conflict because I genuinely love him (he’s given me 2 grandchildren). When I try to do a model on a particular circumstance (ie. SIL on house arrest x 5 months) I am struggling to keep the F/A line specific to the C if that makes sense. I’ve put my model below to try to explain this better and hopefully it will explain my difficulty moving through this model.
C: SIL on house arrest x 5 months
T: he’s not a good role model for my grandchildren
F: shame/worry (this is where I get stuck because when I do my A line I’m not sure if I have 2 models at play)
A: worry about how his behaviour will impact the kids, over compensate for his perceived inadequacies, judge him, hide what’s going on with him and don’t share my worries with friends/family, ruminate
R: I’m not being a role model to myself????
In doing models surrounding my SIL the thought that I have “someone like this in my family” is certainly where my work has to happen but in doing models I am not sure what the C would be in this model or could I put that T as a C and work through it that way?
I appreciate your help as I try to make some forward movement on this