Model in Retirement/Money?

I am watching the videos on Money again. I am getting more clarity as I get use to my new normal after my husband passed. My C is I am more then comfortable with the money I have now( especially since it is for me and not us) but, retirement living should come from a budget. I am not earning any money except from investment accounts. Past 5 years have been in care taking mode. I have a 25 year old son who I would like to improve his life now rather then later and still feel I have enough going forward. Huge aha moments for me dealing with my beliefs about money in the past and present but a blank for the future. Also have to work with the thought that I don’t deserve it, he made all this money and now he’s not here to enjoy it. I feel cautious and my actions are to budget every penny so I can keep life as full as it is (which I’m told from my financial person is too much in retirement) The result is no big decisions for my life but want to supplement money for my son to move into a more comfortable apartment. I see my son as the future and want to watch him enjoy what this money can bring him rather then after I pass (hopefully not for a very long time )