Model on new medical diagnois

Hello. Before I share my request for support, I have to say how happy I am that I’m part of SCS at this moment in my life. The timing couldn’t be more perfect.

For the past two years, I have not felt well physically. I have a spinal deformity (KFS) we’ve known about since birth and for much of my life, I’ve been high functioning. Almost immediately after turning 40, new and disturbing symptoms came on. I assumed they were related to my spinal deformity and while there is a relationship there, it turns out there is more going on. On President’s Day, I received three new diagnoses – craniocervical instability, Ehlors Danlos (EDS) and dysautonomia. One one hand, this news came as a relief. My strange and disturbing symptoms are now explained. On the otherhand, there is no one solution that will remediate my symptoms. I am now to begin minimally invasive treatments in an effort to avoid surgery. My thoughts around all of this are a jumbled mess and I need some support around choosing how I will allow all of this to impact my business and life. I’m stuck in knowing it’s important to feel my feelings and honor them and living my life in line with my commitments not my circumstances.

Current model:
Circumstance: 4 diagnoses – KFS, Craniocervical instability, EDS, dysautonmia
Thoughts (spaghetti bowl of ‘em): I’m not doing my thought work well bc I’m not being mentally tough. I should be able to handle all of this. If I give into how terrible I feel most hours of most days, I’ll be in bed. I’ll have no business, make no money, not be able to see through any commitments I make, not show up for my family. Life will be boring if I “slow down”. Maybe I’ll even become depressed.
Feelings (spaghetti bowl of ‘em): anxious, fearful, sad, disadvantaged
Action: buffer by building my business, specifically making new commitments requiring time and energy.
Result: Become resentful of commitments I’ve made when I don’t feel well (which is most of the time these days)

I can see how there are many models in this one. Perhaps that’s the place to start working through this. And btw, knowing myself the way I do, it’s completely predictable that I’d use my “not being good enough at thought work” as the next thing to be critical of myself for!!

Would love a reflection of what you see here. Thank you!