Model on Sister in Law with Mental Illness


Hi everyone, can you give me some insight on today’s model please? My results are a bit sketchy. As a bit of a backstory, my brother’s wife is an alcoholic, which, according to medical professionals is, at least for her case, a symptom of mental illness (she was diagnosed as paranoid, among other scary things). My brother won’t divorce her because of their young daughter but has gotten his daughter into therapy and is working with social services to get his wife help, something she does not want. My family has been devastated by her actions for the past 13 years. We’re fearful of what she’ll do to herself and my brother and niece (all indulging thoughts with no upside, I now know). I’m doing my self coaching, knowing I have no control over the circumstances. But I know I can learn to feel better, which will put me in a better position to support them. I’m trying to find peace, something I haven’t had a lot of where my sister in law is concerned. I don’t want to indulge in worry and fear, as I’ve done in the past, I just want to love everyone, but the scary thoughts are deeply ingrained and come so much easier! Any bridge thoughts to help me get from fear to love and peace?
Here are my models:
UM:
C: sister in law hit brother and said words to him and 13 year old niece, resulting in a call to 911 and an overnight hospital stay for evaluation
T: She is ruining all 3 of their lives!
F: devastated
A: cry, buffer, indulge in worst case scenario thoughts
R: I ruin the quality of my life through my thoughts (???)
IM:
C: same
T: I love all 3 of them no matter what
F: loving
A: Be an active, loving presence, do my best to create calm among the chaos through a managed mind
R: I create more love for myself and them (???)
Any thoughts are appreciated. As I mentioned, my family has been living with this for 13 years. My mom is a nervous wreck, as am I, but I am learning skills I would like to help her with.
Thank you all
XOXO