Model question


In past relationships I would often be agreeable – labelling myself as easy going. However after doing this work I am now starting to question the feeling that was driving this. Today I had someone raincheck a second date via text. My initial reaction was to just respond, ‘no worries’ and accept his proposal for another evening.

However tried running a couple of models as this response felt wrong, felt years of being easy going was probably more driven out of fear. Fear that the person wouldn’t like me, old belief that people do not like someone who is “difficult”. What however my thought download started to reveal and why I think the action of just accepting the counter felt wrong was that I wasn’t respecting myself, my own feelings. Rather was trying to be agreeable to ‘influence’ their actions and I was doing this out of fear.

Identifying fear has driven this behaviour for years is a huge ah ha moment. But I am struggling to complete my model so hoping you can assist.

Old
C – date rainchecked 2nd date hours before
T – I am not a priority
F – fear
A – accept his counter
R – I have not made my feelings a priority

New
C – same
T – he doesn’t was to see me and that is ok
F – acceptance
A – do not respond to his texting asking to reschedule
R – I respect myself

With the second action I am happy if he does or doesn’t call to follow up. But just wanted to check if I have completed these models correctly.

Thanks!