Dear Brooke,

My 3 year old daughter has Cerebral Palsy and has recently had Botox injections to reduce the spasticity in her legs and hips so that she can access and exercise her weaker muscles more easily. A temporary side effect of the injections is that she is more tired and weak. I am aware that she has a window of opportunity to exercise/walk as much as possible before the Botox wears off (3-6 months).

This last 2 weeks she has been very reluctant to walk to nursery, crying in the street and the journey has taken double the amount of time. Could you take a look at these models and clarify a few things for me?

Unintentional
C: Daughter does not want to walk to nursery
T: It’s not fair, why do I have to deal with this?
F: Frustrated
A: Raise my voice at her
R: She cries even more and I feel more frustrated

Intentional 1
C: Daughter does not want to walk to nursery
T: What can I do to make this more fun for her?
F: Thoughtful
A: Invent a game putting Raisins along the end of the road
R: She loves the game, happily walks to nursery and I feel better

Intentional 2
C: Daughter does not want to walk to nursery
T: She is entitled to think and feel whatever she wants, I want her to walk because it would make me feel better
F: empathy
A: Keep telling this to myself as we walk
R: she still cries and is unhappy but it is OK

With intentional model 2 , it is also true that I have been advised by the doctors and Physiotherapist to encourage her to walk, so it is also good for her too, not only that I feel better.

Is intentional model 1 not correct in that I am trying to change my daughter’s behaviour rather than my own thoughts? I did actually invent this game and she was happier and more motivated to walk, whereas yesterday I was telling myself it is OK that she feels upset but she still needs to walk anyway.

Many thanks