Doing a model with strong emotion present


Hi Brooke! I’m loving everything I am learning and doing in SCS. It’s amazing. Light bulbs left and right. Today at work someone said something that left me with hurt feelings. I didn’t react, but I noticed that my mind kept going back to it like it would to a chipped tooth. Four hours after the incident I realized that I was angry at her for hurting my feelings…. 💡 the brakes screeched- Damn! That’s emotional childhood. She can’t hurt my feelings… only I can do that with my thoughts. It was fantastic and oh so uncomfortable to have this thought. Even with this I kept returning to the incident in my mind. On my drive home, I tried to just be with the feeling- my feeling that I was creating. I realized that I wasn’t so much hurt by the comment but by the thought that she was “trying to hurt me” 💡 See? I can read minds. Lol. Now that I’m at home I attempted to do a model on this incident, but I’m needing some help. I’m gotten pretty decent at these, but this one is stumping me. I’m guessing that it is because I’m still feeling that darn vibration in my body.

Ok Model-
Unintentional
C- Jessica voiced an opinion
T- she is trying to hurt me
F- anger and pain
A- ruminate and try to understand it; think of ways to put Jessica in her place (that’s painful honesty)
R- waste a ton of emotional energy

Intentional
C- Jessica voiced an opinion
T- so what? We all have opinions ???
F-
A-
R-

The problem is that I cannot find a thought strong enough to sway me away from the other thought. I am aware that this is a big trigger one for me. As I type this, I ask myself “Why is this such a big trigger for me?” Even if someone WAS actually trying to hurt me ( I don’t believe that she was), it does not say anything about me, only them. It does not deminish my value one iota. I think I’ve been telling myself that if we were loveable, that no one would ever try to hurt me. 💡

Ok. That helped, but I’d still like to figure out how to do the model on this.

I appreciate you and all the you do!
Jennifer Keel
P.S. you were right. The exhaustion is getting way better. It seems as though that was a temporary part of my withdrawal from the sugar, flour and buffering. Whew!