Model work – challenging times, feeling comforted


Hi Coaches, I have a tendency to feel that every problem is mine to solve. Present me with a few challenges and I’m inspired and take massive action. However, these days, the volume of challenges is so huge (as I perceive it) that I’m shutting down. Here’s my model:

C: Presented with many challenges
T: I don’t know what to do next
F: lost
A: don’t do my MHO plan
spend time online reading articles that I tell myself are helpful
spend time rehearsing the number of challenges in the last x number of months/years
R: I don’t do anything

I’ve been looking for a way to breakthrough the lethargy and confusion. I tried models with thoughts like “I can do hard things” which is factually correct but my brain said “But I don’t want to do any more hard things”. Also I tried “We will get through this and emerge stronger than before” which I know to be true but doesn’t help me in the moment. I’m tired and part of this is pure indulgence but part of it is because I’m not sleeping well and I am actually tired.

So I asked myself what T would feel really comforting and I came up with the following model:

C: Presented with many challenges
T: I am not alone
F: comforted
A: I look for ways to connect with people
I run my every-3-week women CEO mentor group to get this infusion of support
I use my time with husband to get support, not just vent
I use my SCS 20 minute coaching time and Ask A Coach to get support
R: I am supported by many different people

After writing this, I paused. I see that my above A’s are all about the action I take when I’m thinking the thought “I am not alone” and looking for ways to not be alone.

However, if I write the A’s from the perspective of “what action do I take when I’m feeling comforted”, I get a different model with different results:

C: Presented with many challenges
T: I am not alone
F: comforted
A: I say nice things to myself
I’m not harsh and critical to myself
I smile
I relax
I think clearly
R: I take wise action on the challenges

So I’m thinking this last model is the one that I want to go with. The actions that I want to take to not be alone will take care of themselves, they already happen. The work for me is to allow the feelings of connection.

Do you have any feedback for me on my models or my model process? Thanks.

P.S. Upon a final read of what I wrote, I see that my C isn’t neutral. “Many challenges” is all relative and what one person sees as a challenge, others might not. Yet these sure feel like challenges to me! Maybe I need to write it as “Presented with many new and unknown business and personal situations”?