models on buffering

Alcohol or food, it doesn’t matter, my brain is telling me it ‘wants something’. It’s on a loop, telling me that it wants something because it doesn’t like the way I feel.

The way I feel is “itchy inside”. Restless. The experience of restlessness in my body isn’t really all that horrific in and of itself, its just moderately unpleasant.

I can see the thought, on a loop, it really wants me to pay attention to it and to listen to it. It keeps offering the thought – “go get a little glass of wine, it’s no big deal, it will be nice and cold, you’re thirsty anyway. You had a glass yesterday and felt great this morning and had a productive day, so there’s nothing wrong with a glass of wine.”

C feeling of restlessness in body
T go get something to eat or drink its no big deal
F desire to buffer
A did a model – interrupted first model

C Feeling of restlessness
T I can handle this feeling of restlessness and I don’t have to listen to brainstorm my brain is trying to get me to listen to
F Open, willing
A Feel my feeling all the way through
R I handle the feeling of restlessness and form new neural connections in my brain

Okay, the feeling is still present, but I do think I can be with it without pushing it away. My brain continues to offer the thought ‘go get a glass of wine’, but I can see how relentless it is, but it is okay. My brain can offer whatever thoughts it wants, I can feel an urge it’s no big deal.

Just processing.