Can you please coach me on these models?
Unintentional model:
C: Fiance said “we have sex once a month”
T: how dare he say that
F: offended
A: scoff and say “we do not!” tell myself I should want to have sex more often.
R: I believe the amount of sex we have is a problem. ??
Intentional model:
C: Fiancé said “we have sex once a month”
T: He’s probably right
F: open
A: don’t ruminate about it. consider why I often don’t want to. get coached on it
R: I let myself be wrong? I dunno
Unintentional model:
C: on Black Friday, I bought a coat, a shirt, cat shelf bed, basket, wrapping paper, food containers, wreath
T: I HAVE to stop spending money
F: stressed (tense in shoulders/neck)
A: scroll on my phone – Amazon. don’t look at my budget (avoid it). tell myself “this will be the last thing I buy until after Christmas”, buy another gift. don’t talk about how much I’ve spent recently. imagine my fiance judging me when a package arrives at our house.
R: I stress myself out with my thoughts which leads me to spend to feel better
Intentional model:
C: on Black Friday, I bought a coat, a shirt, cat shelf bed, basket, wrapping paper, food containers, wreath
T: I can do whatever the f*ck I want
F: empowered
A: look at my budget, update it. get out my urge jar. get coached on overspending. own my past models (with myself and my fiance).
R: I take my power back?
Unintentional model:
C: It’s 8:30 am on Saturday
T: there are so many things I want to do today
F: stressed
A: sit on the couch. scroll on my phone. imagine my entire day spent on all of these “things” don’t actually make a list or schedule/plan my day.
R: I waste my time
Intentional model:
C: It’s 8:30 am on Saturday
T: there are things I want to do today (and if I start now, I can probably get them done by noon and then relax the rest of the day)
F: neutral (is this a feeling?)
A: write a list. prioritize the most important things I want to get done today. remind myself that there will always be things I want to get done and I don’t have to get them all done immediately.
R: ??
